Freedom From A Fear

Psalm 34:4

 I sought the LORD, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears. 

This week has been quite busy for me, as we have some family coming in from out of town to visit.  Between life, schooling, lessons and getting ready, I've hardly had a moment to be able to sit down. 

I do however want to share something with you that God did in my life this week and laid this scripture upon my heart to share with you as part of my freedom.  You see God has been working a lot in my life this past year about obedience as you can see from my previous posts and it seems that with the more obedience that he gets from me, the more he asks of me.  Now this one thing I'm going to share is something that I have felt since a very young age....a calling of mine.  I knew, that I knew, that I knew I was always supposed to sing.  Have you ever just known something deep inside of you that you were just supposed to do it?  What did you do with it?  Did you squelch it because maybe you don't have the time or energy to grow in it, whatever it is?  Maybe you carry a fear around like I have for so long of what others might think if you did this certain thing.  

About 3 years ago God told me to go to someone to learn to really use the voice he gave me.  He also told me to learn the guitar, of all things this is a hard one.  First of all with small children I haven't had much time for either one.  Then about a year ago God really said to me "Do this, go really train your voice, not to please others, but to please me."  So I started the journey of looking for a teacher.  I needed someone who would teach me how to use this gift that he has given me, but  they would not ask me to violate who I am and sing songs that do not Worship My Father.  After much prayer, I received a newsletter about a program at Colonial Hills Baptist Church here in Tyler.  They were starting a music program there for the first year and it would include private voice and guitar lessons.  Hmmmmm.....really it literally was downloaded to my computer and I just knew that it was my answer.  

Now mind you I called, got the paperwork, got it all started and as I go to attend my MOPS (mother of preschoolers) meeting  that following Monday, I ran into a girl I went to school with.  As we were chatting I asked what she was doing now and she said she was starting this program there at the church.  Of course, I said with EXCITEMENT "I just signed up for Private Voice lessons as part of the program."  She said "That's cool, I'm the one that teaches it."  I swear this picture to your right here is exactly what I looked like.


 
I thought to myself, God this is not possible.  You know that I am fearful of singing in front of people, much less people I know.  Seriously, are you just yanking my chain right now, I can't do this thing now.  That's it, I'm calling to get it voided tomorrow, withdrawing my money contract is over.  



Let's just say, that was not part of my destiny to end it.  My destiny was that she was the one that was supposed to teach me and she was the one that would be present when I overcame one of my greatest fears.  On my first day of lessons back in August of last year, I walked in and she said "Why do you want to sing and do you know what you are Soprano, Alto?"  Guys seriously I was shaking like a leaf on a tree on a windy day, still looking like the deer pictured above.  I had no idea what to say, but the truth at that point.  This is my Destiny why I am here, God has asked me to come train my voice and I have absolutely no idea what I am supposed to do with it, nor do I know what I am other than I know I sound good in the shower and with the radio.  Then at that moment after a brief laugh, the work began.

I have been going for several months now to this girl I know consider to be a dear friend and it's taken this long to really learn what God has been teaching me through this whole process.  You see I thought that this was just about learning the techniques of the music.  How to sing appropriately, how to go up when needed, go down when needed, when to breathe, how to breathe and so on.  Amidst all the learning and practicing at home, I lost something.  I lost the desire to "Just" sing, the one thing that I have greatly enjoyed for so many years.  Well on Tuesday, God used a moment with my friend when I started to sing the song I have been working with for just about the whole duration of my lessons now "How Great Thou Art", to change my life.  As I started to sing, my friend stopped playing her piano and said this "I don't think that you are enjoying this anymore or something is going on that is different."  My response was "You know you're right I'm too worried about technique and I keep feeling like I have to overcome my fear of singing in front of you every time I come in and my heart is just not with it right now."  I also told her that I felt like when I was at home and I was really singing, worshiping my Father it was different, it felt different, but here and now I'm worried about my technique and what she is thinking of me.  

She said to me "Why don't you just sing like you do at home for me, I will play softly and just go along with you."  When those words were spoken something triggered inside of me and at that very moment the Holy Spirit took over me and I let go.  Friends, I have never felt so free of a fear in my entire life.  The most beautiful thing took place in that room for me,  it was as if I was sitting right there with My Lord at his feet praising him, singing to him with all that I was, all that I had.  The Love and adoration I have for my Father just came pouring out of me at that moment  and it was so overwhelming, I just wept, I couldn't control myself anymore.  You see when it was all about him and not about what others thought or how they would see me at this point or whether I was really good or not, He was glorified.  When I completely and utterly gave my voice to him, it was as if nobody else was in that room anyways, it was just He and I.  I left there feeling as if He knows how much that I Love him.

When I left Tuesday I went away knowing deep within me, my purpose in getting that newsletter, signing up for those lessons, meeting with someone that I know to teach me, and struggling with learning the proper techniques.  The techniques are good, but that's not what it's really about, you see it was about my fear.  My fear alone has held me back from doing what I know he as always wanted me to do.  Use my voice to worship him, no matter if I'm in front of 1 person I know, 10 people I know or thousands of people I don't know.  So long as I'm singing to him and for him and nothing else, that is all that matters, because at that time he has the rest of what is supposed to happen.  I want to encourage you tonight to seek him, open your eyes to what he is showing you, answer to his calling, walk with him, talk with him, allow him to truly be your Dad.  He truly has so many wonderful things to teach you and wants to lead you through your Faith.  Come together with me and let's be Free!

 I want to leave you with this, that if yours is singing, even when you look like this (you know you do it, don't deny it), so long as you're singing to God it doesn't even matter. 

Chore Packs and a New Beginning

 

 

 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

⁹ And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast ^[a]about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. ¹⁰ Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with ^[b]insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 

 

 

 

 

Hello, Hello.....wow, what a busy day it has been.  I hope that this day find you all doing well and being blessed.  Today I'll make it a short post, I just wanted share a minute a big change taking place in the Morrow home.  I have decided that I am not disciplined enough to do a regular chore chart, so a wonderful homeschooling mom friend shared some of this wonderful information with me.  It's called a chore pack...the kids wear it all day till their chores are complete.  In essence it removes the monkey off your back and teaches your kids responsibility.  With proper training of the chores of course, they can then take on the responsibility of knowing what to do, how to do it properly and without me going "Did you do your chores yet?"  500 times over.  Now don't get me wrong, our kids always have helped around the house and what not, but never on a continual basis.  The family who started this amazing system are the Maxwells, their ministry is called Titus 2.  So first props go to them, thanks for the wonderful book, supplies and bounds of information you have researched and provided with your book.  Here are a few of the things I took away from the program that was huge for me.

 This is all from the book, I take no credit for this information

Homemaking 101 starts with asking the Lord for direction and help, he will give us the resources we require.  He allows us to grow in organization abilities, patience, endurance and consistency. 

A Perfectionist mom will have difficulty in dealing with the chore standards she has set, for if she doesn't keep in mind the level of a child's ability, the child will never be able to please her.  This creates conflict between the both and a feeling of defeat in the child's heart.

The Perfectionist parent should learn that there is a balance in a home between a normal "lived-in" state and "everything always in its place" state. 

As we have said before, they are still children and will need years of training, coaching, reminding and consequences.  It will be a process as they grow.

CHIP is an example you should consider - cheerful, hardworking, impeccable and punctual.  You want the child to be a CHIPPer worker. 


Wow so very many things that I took away from this book.  Not just about chores, which was the main goal, but how so much of this paralleled with our relationship to the Lord.  You see as the scripture says at the top, I have so many weaknesses, but I am content with these weaknesses, because I know in the midst of them God is there guiding my every direction.  Maybe not with things to fix my weaknesses, but to help me, remove the added stresses of the thought of failure, He makes me strong in all that I do. 

There truly are so many things I can improve upon, especially with running a home.  You see I suffer from being a perfectionist parent.  I have always had a hard time in allowing my kids to do the things that I am teaching them without going behind them to make it perfect to my standard.  Ex...Kara making her bed and if it's not as straight as it could be I go behind and fix it, Chad folding a blanket and putting it away, but the blanket was not folded the way I see fit.  MISTAKE...HUGE...MISTAKE.  What am I teaching my kids and telling my husband I think of his quality of work???  That they will never measure up to my own selfish desires or expectations I have placed upon them.  No, No, No  I do not want that for my children or my spouse, so I am changing.  From this point forward, I will have to take on the mindset of teaching, not automatic correction.  This of course I will do with the kids, but the hubby on the other hand I will just have to give him a big ol' smoochie and a hug for at least taking the time to do something sweet for me that really helps out.

You know I have to think "What if God did that to me?"  If he automatically went behind me and always corrected everything that I did, what would I learn?  If I didn't have to go through the trials and tribulations in life, how could I grow?  How in the world would I grow in my relationship with him if he just always did everything for me?  Instead he has done what any parent would do.  He set forth my Destiny, he wrote the greatest Book ever to help teach me and guide me through my Destiny.  He has loved me through it all, the good, the bad, the ugly and the really ugly.  He never gave up on me, he just gently guided me back into the direction that I needed to be taking with some consequences to be be had because of my choices and with gentle instruction on the better way to do things.

So you know my approach to this whole chore thing...God's approach.  Hold their hands, guide them through it all.  The good, the bad, the ugly and the really ugly, all the while providing loving instruction and gentleness with their hearts.   That way the children that God has lovingly given to Chad and I, they will grow up and know exactly how very much Their Heavenly Father Loves them.  It all starts with Chores, what may seem so very hard to little people, that way the bigger stuff in life, may not be so tough to swallow. 

I choose to be a CHIPPer worker for God, how about you? 
        (cheerful, hardworking, impeccable and punctual)

P.S. I gotta work on the Cheerful part, when it comes to raking and blowing gumballs in the yard.....those little balls are deadly, I just know it!

Home School Life 1st Year

This is truly where my story began

Hello there again...welcome back.

Some of my friends here may know already and some may not that are just visiting, this is my very first year of homeschooling.  I tell you what too, this is definitely a journey that was one of those that began with that calling.  The only difference was I didn't just ignore the Lord for a few minutes about that one,  I ignored him for a year and an entire six weeks of another year.

You see I knew long before I had kids that I wanted to be a stay at home mommy, oh it was just my dream.  Of course prior to actually having kids, I thought what an amazing dream....life would be a piece of cake. Oh the joys we are going to have, it was going to be like actually living in Candy Land, just that fun and exciting....all the time.  I also knew that homeschooling might always be something to consider, simply because there are so many options out there for schooling.  No reason to rule that out, right?  After Chad and I got married and we got pregnant with Kara 2 years later, my wonderful husband fulfilled my dream.  He has worked so very hard for the past 8 years so that we can keep our children and me at home.  What a blessing he has been, I can only hope that I tell him enough of how so very proud I am of him.  God knew so much about what he was doing when he placed the two of us together, that the crossing of our paths 11 years ago has become one of his greatest Divine Appointments in my life. 

Kara

So when I had Kara in 2004, oh what a beautiful, precious little baby she was.  She was perfect, my first little perfect bundle of joy.  I could not imagine how much she would change my life, in so many ways I have grown from just getting the opportunity of knowing her.  All I could think about was Candy Land when I had her, oh this new journey we were going to embark on together was going to be wondrous.  We spent 4 amazingly fun years together, a lot of our time we spent together alone simply due to Chad's work schedule.  So we were buddies, pals if you will, matter of fact she was in essence my very own side kick.  One thing that God did had given with her was a very strong willed child, Lord I tell you I own every book on her kind.  Yet they haven't quite penned one on her exactly, most of those books didn't touch her personality.  In saying that, we had our downs of course and at the time that God called me to school her, my answer was MOST definitely UNEQUIVOCALLY, "No Sir, I'm not qualified for that and there is no way that I would have the patience to teach my child."  I was like Lord, you have been present the past 4 1/2 years, are we missing something here??!!  At the time I also had my little man Caden who was only on the verge of being a 2 years old.

Caden

I thought this is not possible, I need some me time.  Self was in on that one, just to clear the air.

1st Day of Kindergarten

So you know what I did?  You guessed it, I sent my child to Kindergarten.  Put her precious back pack on her that first day, cried that my baby was officially growing up, took pictures and we had a semi great year.  We had an amazing teacher who I felt at that point set the bar high for her following teachers.  We struggled quite a bit that year with getting ready for school, organization after school, because she wanted to just bounce off the walls and play.   

For what it was worth I enjoyed my two days a week that I got "free" when I took Caden to his Mother's Day Out program.  However, deep down I still knew what God was asking of me and I just felt like if I could keep justifying why it made more sense for her to go instead of doing what has turned out to be quite difficult at times, then it wasn't necessary for me to home school.  I asked myself all the typical questions...where do I start?  How do I know what to do?  How will she feel?  How will she make friends?  Am I hurting her pulling her out?  What if, What if, What if??!!  Want to know God's answer for all the questions I was asking myself?  He said this to me "Child if you will do as I am asking of you, then what you sow with your children you will reap", He said "I will put it all into place if you will just obey."  I am quite ashamed to say that I denied my calling at the start of 1st Grade for Kara.  I once again, put her back pack on her and I sent her on her way.

The one major difference 1st grade for Kara was as follows:
Mornings getting ready- sheer madness
Constant fighting with her to get her dressed
A change in her demeanor
Went from loving school the previous year to hating going
Cried on several occasions about going
Clung to me as if she couldn't let go sometimes
Stated she felt alone a lot

The 2nd major difference this year for Me was as follows:
Sheer conviction every time I dropped my child off at school
It finally came time for change the day that I drove away in such a sob, it was uncontrollable, I gave up that fight and I obeyed.

At the end of her first six weeks of 1st Grade, I pulled her out and she has been home with me ever since.  I will not lie to you and say that Home schooling is a piece of cake.  There are times it is hard, I have cried when feeling at a loss, I feel overwhelmed.  Yet, everything has fallen into place just as he said it would.  The times I need encouragement he places a beautiful home school mom in my path, when I need a hug and total love my husband has me in his arms, when I need a pick me up my phone rings and it's my mom with just the right words, when I feel alone and tired, I get a call and it's my sister-n-law inviting me on a date with her.  When I'm not certain of curriculum, I get just the guidance I need that works for Kara.  God has provided for me in such a way up to this point, just as he said he would, just by my utter obedience to his Calling for Me.   The scripture that he gave me to confirm what I should be doing was this:

John 15:8-11 
(8)My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. 
(9)Just as my Father has loved Me, I have also loved you.; abide in My love. (10) If you keep my commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. (11) These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.


I will do my very best to post pics of our journey and shorten the length of my writings, as I know most people are pressed for time.  Just a quick shot below are a couple of pictures from our activities just today.

Here is a tidbit of how we do some of our school through out the day.

Taking some time to just read

Counting coffee beans for math

She asked her bear Sassafrass to join her for school this day

Below is us including Caden in schooling, while taking the time out of the day to cook and make something as a thank you gift for a dear friend that has lent us so much encouragement and help with this beautiful process of schooling. 

As I stated previously I enjoyed my "free time", this amount of time I am learning is just gained at other times.  I may not have it during the day, but I am "free" from the activities, projects, homework and other things that come with school in the evenings and on the weekends.  I am also totally "free" to pack up my kids and drive to stay with their daddy out of town whenever we need to be close to him.  Please do not get me wrong, I think teachers are amazing and bless them for the job that they have chosen in helping millions of children around the world.  I also will never condemn or judge for someones choice in their own schooling decisions.  I just know that God is teaching me through this all that right now He is the best teacher there is for me and my kids.  While I have the opportunity and he still has me to home school, even on the worst of days I will seek him and revel in the blessings he has given us because of being obedient. Through obedience once again, my joy is most definitely being made full.

Their faces express exactly how I feel.  Excitement, joy, laughter, and disbelief at it all coming together.

Can you imagine if a goat can make kids feel this way, how we can really feel with just having a true relationship with our Father.  A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!  We are in essence his children you know.

How S.H.O.E.S. came about

Hebrews 13:2

² Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Good Blessed Evening Friends!  I am so glad that you have stopped in here to take a minute to read and my prayer is that you leave this evening with a feeling of joy.  As I stated yesterday in my first post I would share with you how the acronym for my blog came about, so here goes.

I hope that you read the scripture that was posted at the beginning of this evenings post.  What a powerful scripture that is.  How many times have you shown hospitality to strangers?  Many times that I can think of that I have and I can say that long ago I always thought I was just being nice.  That's what I was raised to do...be nice, be respectful, help others when needed and so on.  However God has shown me in the past several years that even though I have helped someone I have no idea at the depths of his work in it.   You see all those times that I thought wow, I really feel like I'm supposed to go over there and hug that person (crazy I know), was really all the while God nudging me in that direction.  I just thought, I was being nice and that was kinda fun...especially seeing the look on the random persons face that I just hugged. 

You see, I had not realized that all that time God was talking to me, to use me.  When he brought this to my heart I decided ok Lord, use me.  I will be the vessel that you chose to use and be completely obedient in what you are asking of me.  Trust me guys, this was hard to do at times, especially when being concerned with what others might think of me.  Some people I'm quite sure of had thought I had fallen off my rocker, I even thought I had a few times.  So during this time of God teaching me, he used me one powerful day.  He took me down a road that was needed to be traveled and had one stranger on the road that was Destined to be in my Destiny that day.  He designed it, orchestrated it all and brought to fruition something beautiful.

The year was early 2010, steady rain was falling, it was 30 degrees out this day and Caden was 2 attending a Mother's Day Out program at West Erwin Church Downtown Tyler.  This one particular day I had already dropped Kara off at school and was headed to drop Caden off.  For by reason of God's plan I had decided that this day I would take the kids to school in my jammies (had to swallow some pride for this one), hair pulled back, probably had some mascara under my eyes too as I find it difficult to want to remove my make-up in the evenings and Shoes on my feet.  Now considering I had on jammies I thought why wear real shoes.  So this day I put on those Isotoner slipper things and then a hard sole pair of house shoes, hey they were pink, had some bling on the top and were super warm with lined fur.  This was odd for me people, one I hardly ever wear jammies to drop the kids at school, much less wear 2 pairs of shoes.

Here I go driving down Front street and all of a sudden I was told to look to my left.

  Lo and Behold there was a young woman walking on what was a remnant of a sidewalk.  I was then told, look down....this woman had no shoes on her feet.  Not only did she not have shoes on, it was raining, it was freezing, she was walking as fast as she could to get to a warm place and the only thing to cover her feet were a pair of mens oversized socks that were black and saturated with water.  How could this be I thought??!!  My mind starts to race thinking what in the world and there he was.  Calling me, He said turn around Krista and give her your shoes.  I know at that moment I thought to myself, Lord that is just plain crazy.  Have you not seen what I'm wearing??!!  I'm not prepared for this today!!  So I kept driving...bad, this was bad.  He quickly called me again and said give the girl your shoes Krista.  I answered that call and said "Yes Sir", as I turned my truck around I saw her go into the Laundry Mat.  I pulled in, saw her sitting in a chair with her head down and I also saw about 5 other people in there. At that moment I said "Lord, sorry not today, there are other people in there, and I look NASTY!"  Pride, my pride was getting in the way of his work.  I pulled out of that parking lot and proceeded to take my little man to school.  The Holy Spirit instantly convicted me of my disobedience and I asked "God why today?"  His reply "Go give the girl your shoes."  So with an upset stomach, hurt pride and a quick U turn, I was obedient and back on my way to the Laundry Mat.  I got out, walked into that laundry mat on a mission.  God's mission that day and regardless of my pride that girl was getting my shoes.

This young woman looked up at me as I entered and this is what he had me to say. 

 Hi there, I know that what I'm about to do may seem crazy, in fact you might think I'm crazy and that's ok too, but......God has asked me to come here today to give you my shoes.  You should not be out here in this freezing wet weather with no shoes to cover your feet.  You are supposed to have these shoes and for whatever reason you need them and he wanted you to have them, I hope that you are tremendously blessed by them.  I took them off, set them on the floor beside her and as looking up at me with tears in her eyes......she put them on.  I turned to walk out and as I was getting in my truck she came after me to ask my name and just say Thank You.  I have no doubt that she was blessed and I have no doubt that I was too.  I left that laundry mat with my isotoners (realized those had holes in them...embarrassing) and tears streaming down my face. 

One year after this divine appointment, God implanted in me what he was teaching me all this time.  That this life is about His plan.  Peoples destiny being fulfilled, God calling people and them realizing their calling.  That day was not just about a pair of regular shoes.  It was about S.H.O.E.S., Simply Helping Others Everyday Somewhere.  So what he taught me was that in complete obedience to his calling, we are not only putting on our shoes to get from point A to point B, we are putting on his......S.H.O.E.S.  If we can all go out with that mindset and listen for those gentle nudgings that he gives us, we are helping him to fulfill the destiny he has designed for them.  So tomorrow when you go out think of my story if you will and picture this. Even though a pair of pretty, smoking hot high heels might seem more exciting and what might make you feel good that day,

For some crazy (it will seem it at the time) reason you feel like you're really supposed to wear these banging hot pink house shoes,

put them proudly on your feet and go.  Maybe you are fulfilling your destiny or somebody who may end up wearing your shoes are realizing their very own God's Designed Destiny through Hot Pink House Shoes.

God Bless and Thanks for sticking with me through this lengthy post.   May you realize the Destiny that God has designed especially for you and you live in it. 

Welcome

Good Afternoon Friends!

I have decided to embark on a journey that is well known to others and not so familiar to me. Blogging, and oh boy I think this is going to be interesting. I have felt as if I am supposed to blog on my journey of being a Disciple, A Wife, A Mother, A Daughter, A Sister, A Friend and A Home Schooler of 2. My sometimes crazy, busy life may not allow for me to be able to blog very much, but as God calls me to write, I will. It may be often and may be far and few between, we shall see. However, I would love to share my stories with you if you're wanting to read. There is much growth to be had on my part in all of the above and I am excited to share that growth with you. As you can see from my Blog Title, it is the acronym S.H.O.E.S. That acronym was given to me by the Lord to represent Simply Helping Others Everyday Somewhere. In a blog to follow, I will share the story of how that all came about, but for today since I am just getting all this together, I don't have the free time. May you be blessed and welcome to my page.



My Little Family on Our Cruise to Cozumel